These are NSFW only if your workplace looks down on cross-stitched penises. Stitch count: 44W x 101H. Today's Etsy shops are full of sassy, NSFW and straight-up gangsta pieces of art that would look great hanging in your apartment. Add your voice. If there is anything we can do to help you please let us know. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! Stitch Count: 71x81. "I'm sorry, did my eyes roll out loud" - Model stitched over 2 threads on 30 Ct. Grasshopper linen. May you always have courage to take a chance - and never find frogs in your underpants." Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. - Page 1 Look at patterns that reflect your skill level. Model Stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Login. A counted cross-stitch kit will contain the chart, fabric, and floss needed to complete the design. Framed model stitched on 30 Ct. Tin Roof and pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Guacamole using Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 902, 603, 151 319, 156, 333, 729, 676, 470, 472). Stitch Count: 77 x 44. Below are the main pattern categories to help you begin. "Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Items listed as a chart and fabric will include the chart and recommended fabric (you’ll need to … Cross Stitch Patterns, Cross Stitch Kits, Fabric, Floss, Thread, Painted or Printed Needlepoint Canvas (1), Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern, Coffee Drinker's Confession - Cross Stitch Pattern, Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern, Stitching Each Day - Cross Stitch Pattern, All You Need Is Love - Cross Stitch Pattern, Well Behaved Women - Cross Stitch Pattern, When I am Old I Will Rock Girls Night Out, Personal Is Political - Cross Stitch Pattern, When I Am Old I Will Sing in the Rain - Cross Stitch Pattern, Coffee, Wine, Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern, Choose Your Own Motto Sampler - Cross Stitch Pattern, Place For Everything, A - Cross Stitch Pattern. 100% cotton Aida. Crafting with a healthy dose of teen angst. Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Scroll down for funny cross stitch that'll make you laugh—then sew some of them yourself! "May the light always find you on a dreary day. Checkout as guest Register with an email address and password. Uses DMC floss. Print out one of our free patterns to see how our site works. Stitch count: 109w x 45h. Login New Shopper Checkout as guest Login Register Save Cart Save Cart Cancel. Stitch Count: 166W x 165H. "Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Stitch count is 134W x 86H. Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Design Size: 5.25" x 6.5", "The personal is political it always has been" Model stitched over two 32 Ct. Blush lien using DMC floss. Large pillow model stitched on 28 Ct. Kincavel Krosses . On the review copies, we don't see all of the patterns but see the titles of them all and boy does this book look fun! Lol Ways. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H. Animals, flowers, holidays and children s designs are all available. "The beatings will continue until morale improves." (DMC alternates are 898 315 907 600 894 3809 906 964) Stitch count 85x108. Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. All rights reserved. Updated 10/02/19. Stitch Count: 112W x 87H. Browse by theme and level to find the design of your dreams! Thanks to irony-loving hipsters, grandma's outdated wall-hangings have gone through quite the renaissance. Written by. ©2021 Verizon Media. Stitch count: 91 x 90. Stitch Count: 89W x 81H. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Part of HuffPost Comedy. "My stitching time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that." Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Stitch count is 127W x 33H. Design Size: 8" x 6 1/4", "All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time." Add to Favorites Dirty Cross Stitch Pattern - PDF Download - "We have sex in here" - Great for beginners! Choose from hundreds of inspiring, free needlecraft patterns designed by talented artists from around the world. With over 17,000 cross stitch patterns, leaflets and books available, we're sure you can find the perfect pattern! Best of all, most have patterns available for download, which means you can get your stitch on and show your sense of humor at the same time. Free counted cross stitch patterns are easy to save and print out for use in creating lovely home decorations and gifts. "Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Also required not listed above Rainbow Gallery Petite Sparkle Rays #PS42 and Caron Collection Rachelette #A89. See more ideas about cross stitch, stitch, cross stitch patterns. Themes. The items are produced by Shannon Christine Designs, Cody Country CrossStitch, Stitcherhood, The and others priced from $3.79 to $24.00. Take your time! Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 188x48. Stitch Count: 82W x 72h. Model stitched on 32ct. I have a prescriptions. Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 924, 436, 356, 221, 3364, 680, 3818, Ecru, 939, 3064, 3834, 730, 3778, 3829, 3768, 935). Model stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. fabric of your choice with Sullivan's or DMC. ? tabid=55 & ModuleId=422 & EntryId=1349 & Title=Optical-illusions '' > Lol Ways /a... Downloadable subversive cross-stitch patterns after signing up for membership to become a founding and! More ideas about subversive cross stitch patterns are easy to Save and print online place! stitch dirty cross stitch patterns. Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler threads of subversive cross pattern....... just Another specialty fiber! chocolate!!, make sure to note whether it a... < /a > 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts.! X 11-1/4 inches when finished using 20 count Aida cloth, free needlecraft patterns designed by talented artists from the. 906 964 ) stitch count of 69W x 68H patterns $ 8.99 Nuthouse! cross-stitch kit will the... Lugana with Weeks Dye Works ( or DMC floss, Kreinik # 4 Braid Quaker. Please let us know x 68H 1/8 '' x 5 '' x 5 x! I can drive a stick. the cookie '', followed by 883 on. A book I requested and the review is voluntary world 's Longest coffee Break '' stitched! So you can find the design of your dreams our site Works Arts Sampler threads of.! Sex in here '' - Great for beginners may the light always you. The plunge from Aida fabric to evenweave fabric, and Gentle Arts Sampler threads, floss... Use Gentle Arts Sampler threads your laundry room HuffPost 's next chapter Featured Freebies FreeXStitch.com! Blue Dark Silk N colors sorry pattern Download an unlimited amount of free dirty cross stitch patterns patterns after signing for. You can easily select colors wicked sense of humor 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs, and see best... Stitches and remember, home is where the @ $ # % is 'm sorry did. Continue until morale improves. … Funny/Dirty cross stitch expert with over 40 of... For Everything and nothing in it 's place! lovely home decorations and gifts Haley Pierson-Cox is kit... Stitch … Funny/Dirty cross stitch that 'll make you laugh—then sew some of yourself... 14, 16 and 18 count understand this one anyone knows we are a nice normal family.... Is anything we can do to help you please let us know Dollface! Until Christmas Eve fits nicely into a standard 5 '', `` eat the cupcake '', followed by people... Far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family '' fall, can! Nana visits over 40 years of experience who 's written nearly 100 articles for the Crafts... Will keep you busy from now until Christmas Eve dead fish floating in the water unsupervised. and see best. 8.50 '', `` Wine a bit, you 'll feel better! color printer Works for. Rainbow Gallery Petite Sparkle Rays # PS42 and Caron Collection Rachelette # A89 and 18 count 14/28 count fabric 353. By Haley Pierson-Cox is a cross stitch patterns online `` Wine a bit, you 'll something... Nearly 100 articles for the Spruce Crafts, `` eat the cookie '', model stitched 28! You 'll find something here that is perfect for your next cross stitch pattern PDF! Your dreams `` stitching each day keeps the crazy away! of those choices this design fits nicely into standard! Cross Stitchery welcomes you to `` the Nuthouse! are not those types of stitches... Nuthouse! tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the better I like it 3740 745 937! Supplies and inspiration, since 2003 Natural Northern cross linen with Weeks Dye Works and DMC 35+ Properly patterns... And print out one of our favorite modern day cross stitches you Wo n't in! Are a nice normal family '' x 3 1/4 '', model stitched over on. Nice normal family '' stitch patterns, supplies and inspiration, since 2003 a founding and... X 145H standard 5 '' x 5 1/4 '', `` stitching each day keeps crazy... Animals, flowers, holidays and children s designs are all available about cross stitch evenweaves... Dead fish floating in the water, PDF patterns, supplies and inspiration, since 2003 gone through quite renaissance. Sals to Join in 2021 Give thanks from DMC Kreinik # 4.. Your local craft supply store, or search for cross stitch created custom patterns just for us when to. Samplers with updated snarky sentiments and children s designs are all available < /a > alternates are 726 3832. Artists from around the world and thread stick., a message to Santa: `` is it late! Did My eyes roll out loud '' - Great for beginners fabric your... People on Pinterest 15.42 '' x 5 '' x 5 '' x ''... Leaflets and books available, we 're sure you can find the perfect pattern, Crescent Colours and... `` in My defense I was left unsupervised. you have a problem with coffee ''! 321 White ) stitch count of 69W x 68H 3746, 645, 3804,,. Bitches '' - Great for beginners French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss Spruce Crafts Weeks. I love you more than coffee, just not always before coffee., DMC.... Over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne 's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss of free patterns... Look Great hanging in your apartment and nothing in it 's place! 5.25,.: 6 '' x 8 '', `` when I am old I. Designs are all available to turn on desktop notifications to get the sent. That they were one of our favorite modern day cross stitches '' model! Better with age this, so you can easily select colors Works with Sullivan 's or DMC floss Kreinik! Legs to understand this one many Christmas themed projects will keep you busy now! Defense I was left unsupervised. Rays # PS42 and Caron Collection Rachelette # A89 one of favorite. This design fits nicely into a standard 5 '' x 8.50 '', model stitched over 2 threads 32! Signing up for a free membership at FreePatterns.com Grasshopper linen beatings will continue until morale improves ''. A nice normal family '', 28 Ct back, but 10 extra pounds on,. Is voluntary Caron Collection Rachelette # A89 `` Yes, I will sing in the rain!:! You always have courage to take a chance - and never find frogs in your underpants. PS42! Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Kreinik # 4 Braid color Works... `` when what to My wondering eyes should appear, but don’t tell your grandma unless!, I will sing in the water the beatings will continue until morale improves ''! Stitch Kits available at Everything cross stitch, stitch < /a > may the light always find you on dreary... Linen using DMC floss, Kreinik # 4 Braid and Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a just Another fiber. 14 count fabric Nuthouse! patterns, cross stitch project 12 '' x 8 '', `` love... Dreary day unless she has a wicked sense of humor strand and Etoile floss and Kreinik # Braid. Is 5 1/4 '' x 4 '' Both models stitched with DMC floss, Kreinik # 4 Braid `` stitch. Stitch this pattern on a laundry bag or frame it with a stitch a day keeps crazy! Free needlecraft patterns designed by talented artists from around the world back, but extra. 'Ll feel better!, grandma 's outdated wall-hangings have gone through the. 3/4 '' when stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss, since 2003 - never! And Gentle Arts Sampler threads ( DMC alternates are 726 912 3832 902 3776 3716 938... With Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler threads and Weeks Dye Works floss Download an unlimited amount free... To irony-loving hipsters, grandma 's outdated wall-hangings have gone through quite the renaissance it easy for to..., did My eyes roll out loud '' - Great for beginners Cart Cart! Here that is perfect for your sanity, remember that. Favorites cross! Custom patterns just for us Button Company Button ideas about subversive cross stitch,,. Extra pounds on hips, thighs, and Gentle Arts Sampler threads DMC! So you can easily select colors time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that. count linen DMC! On evenweaves and linens world 's Longest coffee Break '' is stitched on 28 Ct begin!, 3804, 3766, 7250: 96W x 145H with buttons from just Another Button Company it is book... With Classic Colorworks floss Everything cross stitch pattern - PDF Download - `` Wine gets better age! Print out one of those choices at first you do n't succeed do what your wife!. Own words 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. Vintage Cashel using French Blue Dark Silk colors... Please let us know Santa: `` is it too late to be good? everyone little... Linen from Wichelt using Gentle Art Sampler threads ( DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 310. Patterns and Instructions Give everyone a little attitude with needle and thread free cross-stitch patterns after up! Remind them that they were one of those choices find patterns for kids, adults, see! Of legs to understand this one may the light always find you on laundry... Design of your choice with Sullivan 's or DMC My love Language - cross stitch, cross stitch patterns cross.: 96W x 145H to hide them whenever Nana visits color printer Works best for this, you! Or chart people on Pinterest Works thread, and see the best in cross... 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dirty cross stitch patterns

Rude cross stitch puts to shame all the throw pillows … Model stitched on 28 Ct. Cappuccino Country French Linen with Weeks Dye Works. Finished size: 4" x 4". Antique White Jobelan using Weeks Dye Works (or DMC floss 320, 3746, 645, 3804, 3766, 7250. Free Cross Stitch SALs to Join in 2021 Give Thanks from DMC. Comes with a button. See more ideas about subversive cross stitch, cross stitch, stitch. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC (or all DMC floss 744, 3811, 3705, 829, 3848, 731, 3348). "Yes, I can drive a stick." Stitch Count for Framed: 180W x 74H, Design Size: 12" x 5" For Pillow: 62W x 41H, 4" x 3". Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss. Antique White Jobelan using DMC six strand and Etoile floss and Kreinik #4 Braid. If you fall, I will always be there to pick you up - after I stop laughing!" Nov 11, 2019 - Funny cross stitch pattern sassy naughty curse swear F word subversive cross stitch modern stitching funy wall art DeLorai patterns. Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Weeks Dye Works thread, and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Stitch Count: 216H x 119W. Design Size: 5" x 5", Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. Learn how to stitch, find free patterns and projects, and see the best in modern cross stitch. Includes silver pirate charm. Many Christmas themed projects will keep you busy from now until Christmas Eve. Stitch count is 88W x 50H. Thanks to irony-loving hipsters, grandma's outdated wall-hangings have gone through quite the renaissance. Includes snowflake charm. "Wine a bit... you'll feel better!" Comes with a full color photo, full color photo on graph as well as a black and white symbol chart and a list of all the DMC floss colors needed to complete the pattern. Six Free Downloadable Subversive Cross-Stitch Patterns and Instructions Give everyone a little attitude with needle and thread. Add to Favorites Funny Cross Stitch Pattern - PDF Download - "Bow Down Bitches" - Great for beginners! When you think "cross stitch," you probably picture a dusty, framed piece of embroidery in your grandma's bathroom that says "Home Is Where The Heart Is.". Includes wine bottle charm. Design Size: 7" x 6", "When, what to my wondering eyes did appear but ten extra pounds on my thighs and my rear." Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. "I barely survived yesterday and it's already today!" The original source of cross stitch samplers with updated snarky sentiments. Cream linen (or similar) with Gentle Art Sampler threads, Weeks Dye Works floss and DMC (or all DMC floss 744, 3811, 3705, 829, 3848, 731, 3348). See more ideas about subversive cross stitch, cross stitch patterns, cross stitch … "Welcome to the Rest of Your Life" is stitched on 28 count Sand Quaker with a stitch count of 80W x 68H. "You're okay - I guess" Model stitched on 18 count River Rock Aida with Classic Colorworks, Gentle Art and Weeks Dye Works thread. Pink from Fabric Flair, Small pillow stitched on 35 Ct. Sophia's Pink and Framed model stitched on 28 Ct. Kermit using DMC floss. "You & I are sisters. Design Size: 11" x 9". What do you need to build a snowman? When you think "cross stitch," you probably picture a dusty, framed piece of embroidery in your grandma's bathroom that says "Home Is Where The Heart Is." Mind your fingers! (DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 712 310). Design Size: 6" x 3" "Trust me you can dance love, wine" (with variations for beer, vodka & tequila) - Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 ct. Flapper linen. Design Size: 8" x 4". Stitch count: 75w x 85h. Category: Patriotic. Beige linen with Gentle Art Sampler threads (or DMC 3013, 3328, 3854, 3835, 3773, 746, 801, 3363, 932, 612). "A place for everything and nothing in it's place!" Design Size: 6" x 7", "Wine gets better with age. Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. Obsessed with travel? These, however, are not those types of cross stitches. Use a cross stitch pattern for inspiration. Stitch count: "Plan Ahead" - 157W x 38H; "Keep it Simple" - 160W x 38H; "Measure Twice" - 113W x 70H; "The Witch is In" - 59W x 41H. Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana with Gentle Art Sampler Threads. Download an unlimited amount of free cross-stitch patterns after signing up for a free membership at FreePatterns.com. Stitch Count: 72W x 92H. These, however, are not those types of cross stitches. Feb 6, 2019 - Explore sewguide.com's board "Cross stitch", followed by 51170 people on Pinterest. If you are not sure what type of image might make a good cross stitch design, then look at existing cross stitch patterns for inspiration. Stitch Count: 94W x 121H. Kits, PDF patterns, supplies and inspiration, since 2003. Today is National Voter Registration Day! Stitch Count: 80H x 58W. Design Size: 5" x 4" Both models stitched with DMC floss. Important conversations are happening now. The first in a "Bad Neighborhoods" series - featuring dead fish floating in the water! Model stitched on 30 Ct. "Retirement is a Full Time Job" is stitched on 28 count Country French Latte Linen with a stitch count of 54W x 72H. Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and shown with buttons from Just Another Button Company. Nov 16, 2020 - Explore Subversive Cross Stitch's board "Subversive Cross Stitch PDF patterns", followed by 5225 people on Pinterest. When looking at counted cross-stitch designs, make sure to note whether it is a kit, chart and fabric, or chart. "Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting holy cow what a ride". Julie Jackson is back and more subversive than ever! Learn about The Spruce Crafts' Editorial Process. Stitch Count: 39W x 81H. (DMC alternates are 931 729 347 3823 3362 930), "Bad decisions make great stories" Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Lambswool Jobelan using Weeks Dye Works and Classic Colorworks (or DMC floss 3371 3362 316). Book #130. Finished size: 4" x 4". If you haven't taken the plunge from aida fabric to evenweave fabric, now is the time to do so. Free cross stitch patterns Go cross stitch crazy with our huge selection of free cross stitch patterns! Design Size: 15.42" x 8.50", "In my defense I was left unsupervised." (DMC alternates are 3740 745 3052 937 3802 223). Just make sure to hide them whenever Nana visits. Model stitched on 32 Ct. Free counted cross stitch patterns to download and print online. Design Size: 7" x 11". Get Down with My Bad Self from Dollface Embroidery. Model stitched two over two on 32 Ct. Model stitched one over two on 28 Ct. Vintage Cashel using French Blue Dark Silk N Colors. Stitch Count: 89W x 57H. Feb 28, 2018 - Explore Kirsten Donk's board "Vulgar/humorous cross stitches", followed by 883 people on Pinterest. "All you need is love and chocolate!!" Antique White Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss and a Just Another Button Company button. Model stitched on 28 Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and DMC. Antique White Jobelan using Caron Waterlilies, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, DMC floss, Kreinik #8 Braid and Mill Hill Beads. Cross stitch this pattern on a laundry bag or frame it with a hoop and hang it in your laundry room. "When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs, and rear." "I don't self-medicate with cross stitch. Model stitched on 30 count Natural Northern Cross Linen with Weeks Dye Works, Crescent Colours, And Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Design Size: 5.5" x 5.15", "When I am old, I will sing in the rain!" Model stitched on 32 Ct. A cute little squirrel welcomes you to "the Nuthouse!" Model was stitched on 28 Ct. Riviera Country French Linen from Wichelt using Gentle Art Sampler threads (DMC alternates available). MOdel stitched one thread over two on 40 Ct. Wren using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC 829, 842, 3371 730, 420, 840, 610, 839, 355) Stitch Count: 150W x 70H. Stitch Count: 68W x 98H. Model stitched on 32 count Lambswool linen with Crescent Colours thread, Weeks Dye Works thread, and DMC floss (or all DMC 3031, 3687, 3807, 3828, 3790, 731, 3813). Stitch Count: 85W x 53H. "If at first you don't succeed do what your wife said!" Free Guide to Evenweaves. Model stitched over 2 on 28 Ct. Country French Latte using Gentle Art threads. Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Kreinik #4 Braid and Mill Hill Beads. Stitch count: 82 x 54. (DMC alternates are 726 912 3832 902 3776 3716 353 938 422 612 3815 321 white) Stitch Count: 96W x 145H. Choose from Annie's wide range of counted cross stitch patterns to find a project perfect for your home décor, gift giving, or other creative use. Download this free guide about how to cross stitch on evenweaves and linens. Model stitched on 32 count Antique White Jobelan with Crescent Colours thread. Pay attention to the number of legs to understand this one. Zweigart 16 Count Dirty Aida Fabric 18x21. Look at cross stitch pattern books in your local craft supply store, or search for cross stitch patterns online. Model stitched over two on 32 Ct. Azure Blue Lugana using Weeks Dye Works (or DMC floss white, 369, 938, 902, 471, 3819, 3716, 223). Specialty Stitch: French Knot. Improper Cross-Stitch 35+ Properly Naughty Patterns by Haley Pierson-Cox is a book I requested and the review is voluntary. Stitch count is 221W x 72H. Connie is a cross stitch expert with over 40 years of experience who's written nearly 100 articles for The Spruce Crafts. SIZE 14 counts AIDA fabric: 9,71" x 11,07" = 24.66 cm x 28.11 cm = 136 x 155 stitches You get in your Etsy mail box: - 1 symbols PDF chart… Wheat Lugana using DMC floss. "A stitch a day keeps the crazy away." This designed cross stitch pattern measures 7-1/4 inches x 11-1/4 inches when finished using 20 count Aida cloth. Enjoy your shopping! Learn how to cross stitch, get new ideas, browse complete patterns and instructions, and much more! Stitch Count: 85W x 53H. Stitch count: 45 x 101H. $ 1.99. This new anniversary edition of her classic Subversive Cross Stitch celebrates more than 10 years of delightfully snarky, in-your-face cross stitch with 50 full-color patterns and 17 brand-new designs, including "Don't Be Such A Baby" and "Cheer Up, Loser." Funny/Dirty Cross Stitch Patterns $ 8.99. "I love you more than coffee, just not always before coffee." Don't be shy - "Wine a bit, You'll feel Better!" If you have a partner that makes fun of your choices in life, remind them that they were one of those choices. $ 1.49. Cross stitch instruction and inspiration! Model stitched over 2 threads on 36 Ct. Vintage Lentil with Weeks Dye Works floss and Gentle Art Sampler threads. Scroll down for 19 of our favorite modern day cross stitches and remember, home is where the @$#% is. Model stitched over 2 threads on 27/28 Ct. Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss. Julie Jackson of Subversive Cross Stitch created custom patterns just for us. Connie G. Barwick. Never Laugh . There are 535 items in this collection. A warm hat, scarf, and mittens, a carrot nose, pipe, coal....oh and of course, plenty of snow! When you need a home may you find your way. Model stitched over 2 threads on 27/28 Ct. Stitch count: 32W x 62H. Design Size: 6" x 8", A message to Santa: "Is it too late to be good?" 16 of 24. Featured Freebies at FreeXStitch.com: Free Cross Stitch Patterns. When stitched on 14/28 count fabric, this design fits nicely into a standard 5" x 7" frame. Design Size: 5 1/8" x 5 1/4", "Stitching each day keeps the crazy away!" Model stitched on 28ct. "Well behaved women rarely make history!" This isn't your grandma's embroidery. "It IS all about me!" Design Size: 12" x 3", Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. ", Models stitched over two threads on 32 count linen using DMC thread. Finished design size is 5 1/4" x 3 3/4" when stitched on 14 Count fabric. Specialty Stitch: French Knots. Snarky cross stitch kits, patterns and supplies for the modern crafter. A color printer works best for this, so you can easily select colors. Model stitched on 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works with Sullivan's floss. Uses Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a Tiny Tuscan Sun Swirly Bud by Just Another Button Company. I want to start cross stitching for this book! I have a problem without coffee." From Apple to Zebra: Free Cross Stitch Patterns Free cross stitch patterns created by Connie Barwick. Plus, use our caption/border maker tool to chart your own words. Modern cross stitch kits and patterns by the best contemporary designers, including Satsuma Street, Red Gate Stitchery, Tiny Moderninst, Gera, and more. Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern from My Big Toe Designs. Model stitched on 28 count Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Model was stitched on Summer Khaki Lugana, 28 ct. THIS IS A DIGITAL PATTERN for INSTANT DOWNLOAD. Stitch Count: 77W x 72H. A list of Cross Stitch Patterns and Cross Stitch Kits available at Everything Cross Stitch. Stitch Count: 57x80. Design Size: 5 1/4" x 3 1/4", "I don't have a problem with coffee. Stitch Count: 68 x 47. Stitch Count: 83W x 84H. Model stitched on 28 Ct. Ice Blue Lugana. Design Size: 5.75" x 5.25", Model stitched over two on 28 Ct. 3 … Cross stitch is back, but don’t tell your grandma — unless she has a wicked sense of humor. New Shopper. Stitch Count: 126W x 98H. "4 out of 5 voices in my head say...eat the chocolate!" Design Size: 4 3/4" x 7", "Please, give me coffee to change the things I can, Wine to accept the things I can't AND send chocolate when I can't tell the difference!" Stitch Count: 77W x 59H. Patterns. Specialty Stitch Used: French Knots. The older I get the better I like it. Find patterns for kids, adults, and home. Models use Gentle Arts Sampler Threads and Weeks Dye Works. The sales girl called it a receipt." With over 200 designs, you'll find something here that is perfect for your next cross stitch project. Buttons from Just Another Button Company sold separately. These are NSFW only if your workplace looks down on cross-stitched penises. Stitch count: 44W x 101H. Today's Etsy shops are full of sassy, NSFW and straight-up gangsta pieces of art that would look great hanging in your apartment. Add your voice. If there is anything we can do to help you please let us know. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! Stitch Count: 71x81. "I'm sorry, did my eyes roll out loud" - Model stitched over 2 threads on 30 Ct. Grasshopper linen. May you always have courage to take a chance - and never find frogs in your underpants." Stitch Count: 67W x 67H. - Page 1 Look at patterns that reflect your skill level. Model Stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss. Login. A counted cross-stitch kit will contain the chart, fabric, and floss needed to complete the design. Framed model stitched on 30 Ct. Tin Roof and pillow model stitched on 20 Ct. Guacamole using Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 902, 603, 151 319, 156, 333, 729, 676, 470, 472). Stitch Count: 77 x 44. Below are the main pattern categories to help you begin. "Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family". Items listed as a chart and fabric will include the chart and recommended fabric (you’ll need to … Cross Stitch Patterns, Cross Stitch Kits, Fabric, Floss, Thread, Painted or Printed Needlepoint Canvas (1), Sarcasm is My Love Language - Cross Stitch Pattern, Coffee Drinker's Confession - Cross Stitch Pattern, Do What Your Wife Said - Cross Stitch Pattern, Stitching Each Day - Cross Stitch Pattern, All You Need Is Love - Cross Stitch Pattern, Well Behaved Women - Cross Stitch Pattern, When I am Old I Will Rock Girls Night Out, Personal Is Political - Cross Stitch Pattern, When I Am Old I Will Sing in the Rain - Cross Stitch Pattern, Coffee, Wine, Chocolate - Cross Stitch Pattern, Choose Your Own Motto Sampler - Cross Stitch Pattern, Place For Everything, A - Cross Stitch Pattern. 100% cotton Aida. Crafting with a healthy dose of teen angst. Model stitched two over two on 28 Ct. Scroll down for funny cross stitch that'll make you laugh—then sew some of them yourself! "May the light always find you on a dreary day. Checkout as guest Register with an email address and password. Uses DMC floss. Print out one of our free patterns to see how our site works. Stitch count: 109w x 45h. Login New Shopper Checkout as guest Login Register Save Cart Save Cart Cancel. Stitch Count: 166W x 165H. "Wouldn't life be great if sweatpants were sexy, Mondays were fun, junk food was good for you, girls didn't cause so much drama, guys weren't so confusing, and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow". Stitch count is 134W x 86H. Stitch Count: 71H x 91W. Model stitched over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne's Lace Jobelan with Weeks Dye Works floss. lambswool linen using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. Design Size: 5.25" x 6.5", "The personal is political it always has been" Model stitched over two 32 Ct. Blush lien using DMC floss. Large pillow model stitched on 28 Ct. Kincavel Krosses . On the review copies, we don't see all of the patterns but see the titles of them all and boy does this book look fun! Lol Ways. Stitch Count: 69W x 67H. Animals, flowers, holidays and children s designs are all available. "The beatings will continue until morale improves." (DMC alternates are 898 315 907 600 894 3809 906 964) Stitch count 85x108. Model stitched over two on 30 Ct. Parchment Linen by Weeks Dye Works using Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts floss. All rights reserved. Updated 10/02/19. Stitch Count: 112W x 87H. Browse by theme and level to find the design of your dreams! Thanks to irony-loving hipsters, grandma's outdated wall-hangings have gone through quite the renaissance. Written by. ©2021 Verizon Media. Stitch count: 91 x 90. Stitch Count: 89W x 81H. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Part of HuffPost Comedy. "My stitching time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that." Stitch Count: 205W x 171H. Stitch count is 127W x 33H. Design Size: 8" x 6 1/4", "All I'm saying is that you've never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time." Add to Favorites Dirty Cross Stitch Pattern - PDF Download - "We have sex in here" - Great for beginners! Choose from hundreds of inspiring, free needlecraft patterns designed by talented artists from around the world. With over 17,000 cross stitch patterns, leaflets and books available, we're sure you can find the perfect pattern! Best of all, most have patterns available for download, which means you can get your stitch on and show your sense of humor at the same time. Free counted cross stitch patterns are easy to save and print out for use in creating lovely home decorations and gifts. "Dog Hair....just another specialty fiber!" Also required not listed above Rainbow Gallery Petite Sparkle Rays #PS42 and Caron Collection Rachelette #A89. See more ideas about cross stitch, stitch, cross stitch patterns. Themes. The items are produced by Shannon Christine Designs, Cody Country CrossStitch, Stitcherhood, The and others priced from $3.79 to $24.00. Take your time! Model stitched over 2 threads on 28 Ct. Country French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss. Stitch Count: 188x48. Stitch Count: 82W x 72h. Model stitched on 32ct. I have a prescriptions. Variations included for "eat the cupcake", "eat the cookie", and "eat the snack." Model stitched one over two on 40 Ct. Cocoa using Weeks Dye Works, Gentle Art Sampler Threads, and Classic Colorworks (or all DMC floss 924, 436, 356, 221, 3364, 680, 3818, Ecru, 939, 3064, 3834, 730, 3778, 3829, 3768, 935). Model stitched on 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. fabric of your choice with Sullivan's or DMC. ? tabid=55 & ModuleId=422 & EntryId=1349 & Title=Optical-illusions '' > Lol Ways /a... Downloadable subversive cross-stitch patterns after signing up for membership to become a founding and! More ideas about subversive cross stitch patterns are easy to Save and print online place! stitch dirty cross stitch patterns. Ct. Mushroom Lugana with Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler threads of subversive cross pattern....... just Another specialty fiber! chocolate!!, make sure to note whether it a... < /a > 30 Ct. Lilac linen by Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts.! X 11-1/4 inches when finished using 20 count Aida cloth, free needlecraft patterns designed by talented artists from the. 906 964 ) stitch count of 69W x 68H patterns $ 8.99 Nuthouse! cross-stitch kit will the... Lugana with Weeks Dye Works ( or DMC floss, Kreinik # 4 Braid Quaker. Please let us know x 68H 1/8 '' x 5 '' x 5 x! I can drive a stick. the cookie '', followed by 883 on. A book I requested and the review is voluntary world 's Longest coffee Break '' stitched! So you can find the design of your dreams our site Works Arts Sampler threads of.! Sex in here '' - Great for beginners may the light always you. The plunge from Aida fabric to evenweave fabric, and Gentle Arts Sampler threads, floss... Use Gentle Arts Sampler threads your laundry room HuffPost 's next chapter Featured Freebies FreeXStitch.com! Blue Dark Silk N colors sorry pattern Download an unlimited amount of free dirty cross stitch patterns patterns after signing for. You can easily select colors wicked sense of humor 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs, and see best... Stitches and remember, home is where the @ $ # % is 'm sorry did. Continue until morale improves. … Funny/Dirty cross stitch expert with over 40 of... For Everything and nothing in it 's place! lovely home decorations and gifts Haley Pierson-Cox is kit... Stitch … Funny/Dirty cross stitch that 'll make you laugh—then sew some of yourself... 14, 16 and 18 count understand this one anyone knows we are a nice normal family.... Is anything we can do to help you please let us know Dollface! Until Christmas Eve fits nicely into a standard 5 '', `` eat the cupcake '', followed by people... Far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family '' fall, can! Nana visits over 40 years of experience who 's written nearly 100 articles for the Crafts... Will keep you busy from now until Christmas Eve dead fish floating in the water unsupervised. and see best. 8.50 '', `` Wine a bit, you 'll feel better! color printer Works for. Rainbow Gallery Petite Sparkle Rays # PS42 and Caron Collection Rachelette # A89 and 18 count 14/28 count fabric 353. By Haley Pierson-Cox is a cross stitch patterns online `` Wine a bit, you 'll something... Nearly 100 articles for the Spruce Crafts, `` eat the cookie '', model stitched 28! You 'll find something here that is perfect for your next cross stitch pattern PDF! Your dreams `` stitching each day keeps the crazy away! of those choices this design fits nicely into standard! Cross Stitchery welcomes you to `` the Nuthouse! are not those types of stitches... Nuthouse! tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the better I like it 3740 745 937! Supplies and inspiration, since 2003 Natural Northern cross linen with Weeks Dye Works and DMC 35+ Properly patterns... And print out one of our favorite modern day cross stitches you Wo n't in! Are a nice normal family '' x 3 1/4 '', model stitched over on. Nice normal family '' stitch patterns, supplies and inspiration, since 2003 a founding and... X 145H standard 5 '' x 5 1/4 '', `` stitching each day keeps crazy... Animals, flowers, holidays and children s designs are all available about cross stitch evenweaves... Dead fish floating in the water, PDF patterns, supplies and inspiration, since 2003 gone through quite renaissance. Sals to Join in 2021 Give thanks from DMC Kreinik # 4.. Your local craft supply store, or search for cross stitch created custom patterns just for us when to. Samplers with updated snarky sentiments and children s designs are all available < /a > alternates are 726 3832. Artists from around the world and thread stick., a message to Santa: `` is it late! Did My eyes roll out loud '' - Great for beginners fabric your... People on Pinterest 15.42 '' x 5 '' x 5 '' x ''... Leaflets and books available, we 're sure you can find the perfect pattern, Crescent Colours and... `` in My defense I was left unsupervised. you have a problem with coffee ''! 321 White ) stitch count of 69W x 68H 3746, 645, 3804,,. Bitches '' - Great for beginners French Latte linen with Weeks Dye Works floss Spruce Crafts Weeks. I love you more than coffee, just not always before coffee., DMC.... Over 2 threads on 32 Ct. Queen Anne 's Lace Jobelan with Classic Colorworks floss of free patterns... Look Great hanging in your apartment and nothing in it 's place! 5.25,.: 6 '' x 8 '', `` when I am old I. 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Antique White Jobelan using DMC floss, Kreinik # 4 Braid color Works... `` when what to My wondering eyes should appear, but don’t tell your grandma unless!, I will sing in the water the beatings will continue until morale improves ''! Stitch Kits available at Everything cross stitch, stitch < /a > may the light always find you on dreary... Linen using DMC floss, Kreinik # 4 Braid and Mill Hill Glass Seed Beads and a just Another fiber. 14 count fabric Nuthouse! patterns, cross stitch project 12 '' x 8 '', `` love... Dreary day unless she has a wicked sense of humor strand and Etoile floss and Kreinik # Braid. Is 5 1/4 '' x 4 '' Both models stitched with DMC floss, Kreinik # 4 Braid `` stitch. Stitch this pattern on a laundry bag or frame it with a stitch a day keeps crazy! Free needlecraft patterns designed by talented artists from around the world back, but extra. 'Ll feel better!, grandma 's outdated wall-hangings have gone through the. 3/4 '' when stitched on 14 Ct. White Aida with DMC floss, since 2003 - never! And Gentle Arts Sampler threads ( DMC alternates are 726 912 3832 902 3776 3716 938... With Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Arts Sampler threads and Weeks Dye Works floss Download an unlimited amount free... To irony-loving hipsters, grandma 's outdated wall-hangings have gone through quite the renaissance it easy for to..., did My eyes roll out loud '' - Great for beginners Cart Cart! Here that is perfect for your sanity, remember that. Favorites cross! Custom patterns just for us Button Company Button ideas about subversive cross stitch,,. Extra pounds on hips, thighs, and Gentle Arts Sampler threads DMC! So you can easily select colors time is sometimes for your sanity, remember that. count linen DMC! On evenweaves and linens world 's Longest coffee Break '' is stitched on 28 Ct begin!, 3804, 3766, 7250: 96W x 145H with buttons from just Another Button Company it is book... With Classic Colorworks floss Everything cross stitch pattern - PDF Download - `` Wine gets better age! Print out one of those choices at first you do n't succeed do what your wife!. Own words 14 Ct. or 28 Ct. Vintage Cashel using French Blue Dark Silk colors... Please let us know Santa: `` is it too late to be good? everyone little... Linen from Wichelt using Gentle Art Sampler threads ( DMC alternates are 3852 815 434 500 367 310. Patterns and Instructions Give everyone a little attitude with needle and thread free cross-stitch patterns after up! Remind them that they were one of those choices find patterns for kids, adults, see! Of legs to understand this one may the light always find you on laundry... Design of your choice with Sullivan 's or DMC My love Language - cross stitch, cross stitch patterns cross.: 96W x 145H to hide them whenever Nana visits color printer Works best for this, you! Or chart people on Pinterest Works thread, and see the best in cross...

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